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Reflections

Balancing Across Time (A. S. CohenMiller)

Revised post from http://hippiemamaphd.wordpress.com, October 16, 2013

As we begin this website, I am finding myself struggling a bit in finding “enough” time for analysis and writing, amidst being a mother of a toddler.

Balance and Bliss in the Moment: I’ve realized (advice from a wise friend) that I don’t have to have everything in balance on a daily basis. I used to try to do this. I would feel pulled in many directions as I tried to make sure I had enough time with my husband, meaning activities with my toddler, productive work for the dissertation…and ultimately felt like I was tearing myself into too many pieces and never got to take care of myself.

Instead, I’ve found that I have look across a larger amount of time. Perhaps a week, or even a month, and find balance within that amount of time. I can put most of my energy on the dissertation for a while, or on my duties as a managing editor of a journal, and then I can take a break from that (maybe not a 100% break but switch it to the back burner) and instead relish in time with my family and dates with my husband.

Here’s what I’ll be switching my balance for this week:

  • While I’m working – enjoy the time working. It’s MY time and it’s pretty awesome to have the time to research/write on a topic of my choice;
  • When I’m with my family, take time to be with the family/friends. Since I don’t normally have mornings with my little one, then I can find some time to spend with others, too. Today, it involved a lunch date with another academic mama and babies;
  • Go on a date with the spouse! – this week’s date will be focused on  a favorite holiday, Valentines!;
  • Overall: Being in this moment can be bliss. Enjoy the bliss! Enjoy the moment.

I’ve come to think about the changing priorities and balance across longer stretches of time like feeding a toddler (Dr. Sears has some great ideas for this). They won’t eat ALL their veggies every day. Instead some days they will eat JUST one food. Then the next day another food. So today may be hotdogs (organic and grass-fed of course :), and tomorrow may be only broccoli. But across a week, or even a month, it all gets regulated and figured out.  

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